Thursday

It's Thursday. I don't know how to explain how my day off went. I had off Wednesday because P had off that day. I don't exactly like the conversation but how he handled it was different than usual and I guess that means something. Just don't know how much it meant. Am I enough..? The question for 6 years, two months, and seven days. This topic will be on my mind for quite some time. The countdown begins. Looks more and more like ill be moving to Cali and leaving everyone I know behind. Including him. It's a sad thought to think but his track record says he will not choose me again. So much for my happy ending.

Thought of the night

I don't take rejection well so does that mean I should stop trying for anything?

Lunchtime!

Shrimp. Ribs. And veggies. Yum

Breakfast

Had breakfast with peters parents for his moms b day. I wish I remembered to get my leftovers ....

The Visit

We went back to visit Hong Kong some times but i would never want to live there again.



this is what it was at night there. kind of like time square except more crowded.


i'm not the first generation here but my children will be. i'm always going to be a fob. (fresh off the boat) fob is what chinese people call people like me. if you were born in the united states, they would be called abc, ( american born chinese)

Fair Lawn

Before High School started, we moved to Fair Lawn. it was a nice quiet jew town. it's a jew town because a bijillion jews live here. i went to Fair Lawn High School. for some reason, for a second i thought i was in high school again. weird. maybe because i used to blog when i was in high school and i don't do that anymore.
this was what high school was. playing around with friends day after day. high school was easy as pie. there is where i met the friends i have today. it was the best times of my life so far.
i was always shy at first to meet new people but then i made a lot of friends and also passed every class with an A and some times a B. i think i only got two B's in high school, the rest were A's. i didn't really have to try too hard cause clifton's education was far ahead of Fair Lawn High School's. everything they were teaching i learned in middle school already.

during this tme, my daddy had been trying to pass the exam that with make him a citizen. some time during high school, he finally passed the exam and because my brother and me are his children, we were automatically citizens as well.

Then i graduated high school!

The tragedy

My little cousin was diagnosed with Leukemia when he was only about 6 years old.

I took care of him since
he was born and til
he was 6

6 short years with him
and he was taken to the hospital

I remember that night
the ambulance came to take him away..

I was watching tv with him
and he said it was cold..

I got a blanket for him
and wrapped him up in it
and held him in my arms

He still said it was cold
and I held him tighter wondering
what was wrong with him

So I put my cheek to his head
and he was cold..ice cold
and I'm like whoa.. it¡s not that cold

So I told him to go brush his teeth and go to bed

He said he was too cold to move

So I carried him there
and helped him brush his teeth.

He makes sucha cute spiting sound
when he spits out he water

Any way

So I carried him to his bed
and covered him with blankets

He and Id sleep in the bed with him..
it was a twin bed

Cause he was usually scared of the dark.
And he needed me there to keep him company

So I stay'd and he soon fell asleep
while I was holding him
and I went back up stairs in my room
to go get ready for homework

Soon I heard screaming downstairs
and wonder what was wrong

I went down stairs and
I see my grandma holding Savio

While his nose was gushing out
blood and coughing up blood

There was blood everywhere

His mother was on her way home from work

So was his father

They called for an ambulance..

And they dressed Savio up

His mother carrying him

And when they walked out
of the house to the ambulance

It started snowing

I was starring out my window
as they took him away.

Here's the link to my blog on that day for further details.